Historical interview: the following preserves the research experiences and personal views expressed in the original manuscript.
In this interview, we discuss a difficult subject: sexual harassment in academia.
Sexual harassment includes, but is not limited to, unwelcome explicit or implicit language and behavior involving sexual suggestions. Some data indicate that at least 25% of people have experienced sexual harassment at work, and academia is no exception. Indeed, its particular power relationships can make sexual harassment in research workplaces more troubling and harder to address. Let us hear how people in academia understand sexual harassment and how they have responded to it.
Sexual harassment: what can you do?
Question 01: Have you experienced sexual harassment?
Grape-Skin Eater: I experienced sexual harassment during my PhD, but told my supervisor immediately. My supervisor then helped handle it. He was very supportive, standing up to protect me in that situation and later protecting all the women in our group.
Tin Foil: you were very proactive too, because you reported it to your supervisor immediately instead of avoiding it.
Grape-Skin Eater: there was a great deal of trust between my supervisor and me. He felt more like family, so my first reaction when I was mistreated was to ask him for help.
[What we want to say: if you encounter sexual harassment, do not bear it alone or surrender your boundaries. Seek help from someone you trust!]
Question 02: When you rejected that person and told your supervisor, did you consider possible negative consequences?
Grape-Skin Eater: I certainly did, but I was fortunate that my supervisor dealt with it the first time it happened, before serious consequences developed. I know other women whom that person harassed repeatedly; waiting until much later made it harder to handle. The earlier you distance yourself from the person, the fewer interests you have entangled with them and the less control they have over you.
For example, suppose your supervisor sexually harasses you. If you expose it or resist the first time it happens, you may at worst lose the first few months of your PhD or lose that opportunity. But the longer you wait—until your third or fourth year, for example—the greater the cost of quitting. I therefore chose to address it early and stop it the first time.
Bubble Dragon: I find this quite heavy. Imagining myself in that situation, my first feeling is anger. I would choose to resist directly, express my position immediately, and take corresponding action; that minimizes the sunk cost. Something may happen in an instant, but its psychological effects can last a long time. When something makes you deeply uncomfortable, I think that behavior should be stopped immediately.
Tin Foil: yes, one fortunate aspect of an unfortunate situation was that she had someone she trusted who could provide real help. In earlier years, when sexual harassment was less clearly understood, some universities may have protected their professors rather than paying much attention to harassed students. Media scrutiny is now much stronger, bringing many incidents into public view. Universities also seem to be improving in this area, with more developed mechanisms.
Question 03: Why do more women choose to avoid or conceal sexual harassment?
Batman: I am a coward. Even setting aside harassment that can happen at a university, I do not know whether you have ever ridden a crowded bus, but I am very afraid of it. I do not know what to do. My first reaction is simply not to take crowded buses again; I would rather cycle, walk, or take a taxi.
I remember a salesperson I met for the first time who held onto my hand—an older man simply holding your hand. It was genuinely disgusting. I was too frightened to pull my hand away, because I feared he might hit me afterward. It got dark early at that time; what if he followed me and beat me up? Without strong support behind me, I might not speak up. All I can manage is keeping my distance, because I fear retaliation.
Tin Foil: avoiding sexual harassment is actually what most women choose to do. They may remain silent, keep their distance, and reduce contact as much as possible.
[What we want to say: if someone’s behavior makes you uncomfortable, do not start by doubting yourself or rationalizing it. Protect yourself. If possible, and only while ensuring your own safety, resist promptly to minimize the harm!]
Sexual harassment from men’s perspectives
Question 04: Women naturally find sexual harassment hateful and disgusting. How do men view it?
Tin Foil: I asked a male friend what a superior’s mindset and motive might be when sexually harassing a female subordinate. He thought that such a superior must be ill or have psychological problems.
I then asked about the motive: had he really fallen in love with the subordinate? My friend thought not; he believed it was entirely physical, particularly if the person already had a family. He thought any talk of love was false, and that it arose from a very primal animal impulse.
Grape-Skin Eater: I have not discussed this with male friends, but I am curious: does someone intending to harass choose targets randomly? If there are ten women around and they initially face the same probability, will the harasser ultimately select someone easier to intimidate, leaving the person who resists safest?
Bubble Dragon: I can share a case that happened around me. A manager at a workplace clearly engaged in sexual harassment, making advances toward all the recent graduates and going further with those who responded. He spoke suggestively and casually initiated physical contact at their desks. If you moved away immediately or rejected his behavior strongly, he would not continue. But if a woman did not resist or even appeared compliant, the manager would take a liking to her.
The manager made advances toward several women at the same time, including harassment that involved sexual relationships. A superior–subordinate relationship can involve implicit transfers or exchanges of benefits. One female colleague became particularly emotionally invested. Everyone around her told her he was only playing around, but she believed he loved her deeply. She bought him breakfast every day and clocked in for him; she would even set work aside whenever something came up. Her attitude was, “I do not want anything; I just believe you love me.” That is part of why this manager acted so brazenly.
Looking at it from the man’s perspective, there may be two sides. In the first, the superior may think that if she wants something from him, their physical relationship is simply an exchange. In the second, it may not quite be PUA but more an attitude of taking whatever is available. Someone who repeatedly harasses young women may think that because they have not refused, their lack of resistance is tacit consent and permits the behavior. That is despicable.
[A harasser’s distorted logic: no resistance means tacit consent.]
Question 05: Are people who sexually harass others not afraid of retaliation?
Bubble Dragon: he may think he is very charming. Perhaps his family life is boring and he faces pressure from his wife, children, and parents; he sees this as a form of psychological relaxation.
Grape-Skin Eater: I wonder whether he has time to retaliate against people who do not comply.
Bubble Dragon: he does not retaliate; he is purely seeking enjoyment. In fact, he is afraid of retaliation—people who have done wrong feel uneasy. I know a repeat offender who harassed subordinates, and once asked him very directly what he would do if someone reported him. He said that would be the end of him, so he could not let anyone report him. He once used his private money to silence a young woman because he had made her pregnant; it was already very serious. They are afraid.
[A harasser’s distorted mindset: intimidate the vulnerable, fear consequences, and nevertheless fail to stop.]
Question 06: If they are afraid, why do they do it?
Tin Foil: because there is no resistance, they see it as tacit acceptance and assume you are willing too.
Grape-Skin Eater: through repeated testing, they select a suitable target who will not resist or cause trouble.
Bubble Dragon: yes, someone who will not create problems or report him. After so many rounds of testing without resistance, he assumes the person will not later expose a bigger problem.
Grape-Skin Eater: actually, when sharing my own example earlier, I was a little worried. I feared that someone experiencing something similar might resist and then face retaliation.
Question 07: What are the psychological motives for sexual harassment?
Batman: I do not know whether obsessive stalking by fans counts as sexual harassment. I think such people have psychological problems, and wonder whether someone who harasses others might too. To give a perhaps inappropriate example, I remember reading that exhibitionists enjoy the pleasure produced by a woman’s scream. Could sexual harassment involve believing others are infatuated with you, extreme self-importance, thinking you are exceptional, or enjoying being looked up to?
Tin Foil: I think exhibitionists are a fairly typical example of an unusual psychological state. But in the example we discussed, someone with a family harasses subordinates because he finds family life boring. He seeks excitement while also feeling charming, obtaining a certain psychological satisfaction.
Question 08: Why do some students subjected to sexual harassment in research settings comply?
Grape-Skin Eater: many people, including my aunt, imagine that a prominent professor in the United States must be exceptionally capable, highly knowledgeable, and an exemplary teacher. They therefore assume that whatever a professor says must be correct.
Batman: so it is compliance based on an imagined academic authority?
Grape-Skin Eater: yes. I can understand a student initially seeing supervisors as almost sacred, assuming they should never do wrong and that everything they say should be correct.
Batman: but did she realize that this was merely blind worship of authority?
Grape-Skin Eater: she may initially not have understood how to refuse appropriately, especially without a trusted person nearby to help. She might worry that refusing her supervisor would destroy her entire research career.
Batman: I previously heard a story about a woman who only recognized what was happening after prolonged PUA by her supervisor; the story was later exposed through Me Too. In an interview I heard, she said that initial academic admiration or infatuation with the supervisor meant she did not resist when they first had sex.
At first, she believed the supervisor loved her, but later discovered he was interacting with more than twenty women at the same time, and came to recognize the situation.
Tin Foil: I heard that interview. When the supervisor showed interest in her, she initially felt rather pleased to have attracted the favor of someone distinguished, gaining some psychological satisfaction. She then believed they were in a romantic relationship. After finding that he was involved with many women, she felt the relationship she imagined had been violated and ended it. To her, this may have been a painful setback in real love, while the male supervisor did not see it that way.
[What we want to say: do not obey power and authority unconditionally; maintain clear judgment at all times.]
How can you reduce the risk of sexual harassment?
Grape-Skin Eater: first, start with choosing a supervisor. Before joining a group, talk with the supervisor’s other students to understand their character and reduce the chance of encountering a bad supervisor from the outset. Second, if sexual harassment unfortunately occurs later, try to address it early; resisting sooner is better than resisting later.
It is also very good that media and friends around us are beginning to pay attention. This helps more women understand that resisting and refusing is not their fault, and that they are doing the right thing.
Bubble Dragon: from the shared perspective of supervisors and students, I think establishing clear boundaries is very important. The supervisor–student relationship should be limited to research and learning. Both sides must not only establish boundaries but also reach a shared understanding of them, even if that understanding develops gradually through their interactions.
Second, both sides need self-respect and care for themselves. The supervisor, as the more powerful party, needs to behave appropriately, and the student does too. Whether you fear authority or appreciate the attention it brings, protect yourself.
From the student’s perspective, if something bad happens, express your position clearly, take appropriate action, and promptly seek help from someone who can support you. Besides addressing the relationship with the supervisor, you can also seek professional psychological support.
Many universities explicitly prohibit romantic relationships between teachers and students, or even between teaching assistants and students—more precisely, while the instructional relationship exists. If a student cannot tell whether a supervisor loves them, is manipulating them, or is harassing them, it is best to avoid developing that unequal relationship.
Tin Foil: I suddenly remembered training before becoming a teaching assistant. It said that if a student comes to ask questions, you should keep the door open during the discussion, showing that the exchange is not taking place in a closed space.
Once, when visiting a male professor, I closed the door after entering. He reminded me that it would be better to leave it open. Particularly in North America, both teaching assistants and professors receive training about meeting students in open spaces and avoiding being alone together in an enclosed room, which could cause misunderstandings. This is a good way to improve supervisors’ awareness.
Batman: I think what the two of you said about teaching assistants is useful. If you are meeting someone of another gender alone, or feel the person may not be safe, it is better to choose somewhere open or with other people around.
I also think that sometimes retreat is the best strategy: if it is not working, leave. When you are unsure whether you are safe, protect yourself first; only then can you do more.
We do not want a tragedy like Fang Siqi’s to happen again. If you experience sexual harassment in a research workplace, your present fear may make you pessimistic about the future and may even cause lasting psychological trauma. But please do not reject yourself. We want to say:
Dear reader, do not use love as an excuse to rationalize sexual harassment. First forgive yourself: you have done nothing wrong. The person who should feel fearful, haunted by nightmares, and trapped in shadows is the one who did harm. Seek reliable support, whether from family, friends, a supervisor, or a counselor. The world can help you. You are not alone; together, we resist the harm in the world!
Dear reader, we hope these personal experiences can give you strength. Whether you choose to refuse firmly, report early, avoid contact, or protect yourself, consider your own situation fully and find the approach that is best and most comfortable for you.
Dear reader, what should be shattered is the nightmare, not your future. You only need to keep living your life.
If there is someone you care about, you can share this interview with them. We wish everyone happiness and good health!
Further reading
https://metoomvmt.org/
https://metoochina.me/
The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk
PhD participants: Grape-Skin Eater, Tin Foil, Bubble Dragon, Batman
Editor: Honey Peach Oolong
Interview: Tin Foil
Audio recording: Huangyuan Wandou (黄圆豌豆)
Sources and editorial history
Restored from a complete historical article exported from the PhDSciNet Official Account.
